3/18/13
Good afternoon from
the land of the rising sun! As some of
you may know, I fought my first full-contact tournament yesterday. It was the Kyokushin Okinawa Open
tournament. I have spent a bit of time
preparing for this. How can I describe
this experience? I am unsure of how to
begin. Maybe from the first match…
My first match was against a heavier, but shorter
opponent. She was very nice and we
chatted it up a bit before our match.
It’s kinda weird talking to a person you are about to fight, but also
settles the nerves. This is one of the
things I really love about practicing karate in this environment. No one really has an ego. We know we are all equals. We don’t talk about what we are going to do
or what we can do. We. Just. Do. It.
Anyway, back to the match. I felt pretty confident when entering the
ring, even a little excited. I like
fighting. My opponent waited for me to
attack, which I didn’t really expect. To
be honest, a lot of it was a blur. But I
do remember getting in some good middle roundhouse kicks and landing a jodan
mawashi geri to the side of her head. My
corner man, Ogido-senpai, helped me stay on track when she bulldozed me with
punches. He screamed, “No go back!” I really needed that. I couldn’t really feel any punches, but I
noticed that at some points she was pushing me back with them. So I tried my best to answer back with some
of my own. I really wanted to land
another kick to the head, but she seemed to track down my rhythm and wasn’t
going to let it happen. When it was all
settled, I got a 4 out of 5 judges’ decision in my favor. Phew.
Relief. It’s nice to win.
The second match, I was a little nervous about. I was going to fight the woman who won this
tournament last year, and I knew she had speed, and maybe stamina on her side. Only weighing about 45 kilograms (100 lbs.), I had the power, but she was a
much smaller target than my previous opponent.
The match began and I looked straight to her eyes. Fearless and totally focused. She used a lot of side to side movement when
I advanced, so I tried to go in at an angle.
She was master of the angle, so she would get in, attack, and like a
smart fighter, get the heck out. I tried
to catch her with a high roundhouse on her way out, but she was too quick, and
kept the distance in her favor. I do
remember a good leg kick I delivered that seemed to bend her knee forward, but
it may as well have been imagined. She
used her jodan mae geri and caught me in the face. “There it is,” I thought. Exactly what I didn’t want to happen. I was OK, but I knew the judges really loved
seeing that. I started to feel my body
get tired, so I knew I just had to give it power. I did what I could, but an accidental punch
to the jaw left me worried in the middle of the match. It was quick, so I’m not surprised that the
officials didn’t catch it. About 30
seconds later, my jaw started to feel…not quite right. I kiai-ed with the last of my will power, but
it wasn’t enough to gain the advantage.
She won by a unanimous decision.
I nodded with a slight smile and congratulated her. I had learned a lot in three minutes.
Third match for third place.
This woman was my senior and throughout her study of Kyokushin she had
attained the rank of shodan (black belt) in record time with determination,
hard work, and commitment. I was still a
bit worried about my jaw from the second match, but I had to get my mind back
together. Before stepping onto the mat,
I told myself that even though I felt fear, and a part of me didn’t want to
fight any more for the rest of the day, that this was the moment that
mattered. It really is about this kind
of moment. When I get scared and knocked
around, I am reluctant to get back in there.
But I have to walk through this if I want to move forward. This is what it means to overcome limitations
and fear. Right here, right now. This moment is when, if I submit and take the
easy way out, I get nowhere. I didn’t
come to Japan to get nowhere. So for
this match…I let my inner demon out.
I remember the first minute of the match. There was this part where we were both tired
and I executed kind of a half-assed attack.
I didn’t like that one bit, and I felt this collective pressure from the
crowd that said, “No, absolutely unacceptable.”
Or was that some inner voice? Eh,
who knows? I immediately tried to kick
the level back up with more speed and power.
“It doesn’t matter what the body
feels, Kalia…just do it…” I got two good low kicks on her left leg…so I
tried again. Nope. She figured it out and changed her stance. Other leg?
Nope, she picked it up and gave me a front kick every time. Managed to redirect the front kick and follow
up with a counter punch or kick. Yes,
good. “tired…no..no..no, I’m not.”
I heard Ogido-senpai say it, “San-jyu byo-mai!” (Thirty seconds left) And that’s when it happened. I remembered the thick air in that dingy dojo
in Naha, I remembered Shihan’s voice “Eih—gogogogogogo!”
I let it happen, I let my eyes get wide, I let my face get
ugly, I didn’t care about staying composed any more…”All you have to do, Kalia, is NOT STOP.”
So I let out noises that I knew were disturbing to hear for
some people who thought I was a lady. I
threw every attack I could think of, knee, under punch, low kick, knee, knee,
underpunch ”you hit the ribs, hit ‘em
again!” It seemed never ending, but
I was beginning to be OK with that…
“YAME!!....Fix your dogi…”
”Osu!” So I re-tied my belt and tucked the red
flag in as fast as I could. “An extension…maybe?”
“…AKA!” I won the
match…I won the match? Cool.
I soon after congratulated my opponent and thanked her for
such a hard fight. It was unlike
anything I’d ever experienced. We didn’t
hate each other. I didn’t feel good
about beating another person. I felt
good about what I was able to bring out in myself and I was immensely grateful
for having an opponent that helped me do that.
It was the purest form of kumite, the “ultimate truth.” We aren’t really fighting anyone but
ourselves on that mat. This a beautiful
thing and it is one of the reasons why I knew I had to come to this country. Stuff like this DOES happen in the U.S., I
know. But how rare is it to get this
many people together who share the same understanding and philosophy…that we
are willing to forget about self-glorification and act with respect and tact,
while beating the absolute crap out of each other?? Right?
The closing ceremony commenced and I felt really honored to
stand next to the first and second place winners. I have so much to learn from these women, and I know
that my work has only just begun. I hope
they know that when I say “Arigatou gozaimashita.” (thank you very much) that I
really mean it. One day soon I
hope to be able to express my gratitude to these truly amazing men and women,
and to those who have supported and continue to offer their guidance and
strength through this journey. It’s OUR
journey, you know. Thanks very much for
reading.
Yours,
Kalia
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